3 habits that reset my mindset: A lesson in practicing gratitude
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After my husband’s months-long deployment in 2023, a handful of health concerns, and a sudden cross-country move courtesy of Uncle Sam, I couldn’t catch my breath.
I was drowning. Sleep was in the bin, my temper ignited on a short fuse, and I had little desire to do anything but lay in bed all day. Even socializing, an activity that normally recharged me, felt exhausting and overwhelming.
Did you know that sometimes when parrots are re-homed or abused, they pluck their feathers out of stress? That was me–a sad, bald parrot. I wanted to be anywhere but our new duty station.
My husband, a walking motivational poster, kept telling me that I needed to find ways to enjoy what we have, even when the circumstances aren’t ideal. According to David & Julie Lavender, authors of Raising Good Sons: Christian Parenting Principles, “…a mindset of gratitude releases stress, encourages optimism and positivity, boosts hope, creates a better mood, and increases the ability to face challenges” (p. 45).
The authors go even further to explain, “Some health professionals believe an attitude of gratitude boosts immunities, increases healthier sleep patterns, reduces aches and pains, and lowers blood pressure” (p. 45). With all those benefits, sign me up for a hefty dose of gratitude, please!
Easier said than done when in the throes of depression, but I wasn’t about to give in. With a little help from therapy and a lot of self-reflection, these three habits helped me practice gratitude and grounded me in the present moment:
Photo courtesy balanceapp.com
Meditation for Body Awareness
The Balance app is every beginner’s best friend
Sitting still in silence with two small children bouncing around? Impossible! Not to mention I’d already tried meditating using multiple different apps in the past, and I just wasn’t into it.
Until I found the Balance app.
This app changed the way I thought about practicing meditation. Set up almost like a self-paced class, users are guided through 10 different skills, dedicating a few sessions for each skill to learn the benefits on the mind and body. For health anxiety, one might choose a body scan meditation. For building self-love and compassion, a loving-kindness meditation (or metta meditation) can help develop those feelings.
The app is completely customizable to fit the user’s needs–from the amount of time one has to meditate each day, to choosing an exercise according to the user’s mood at any given time. Users can even pick and choose which techniques to focus on each day.
Driving to my son’s school a bit early for pickup, when my youngest was typically snoozing in his car seat, was the easiest time for me to practice. There, in the parent pickup line, I put on my headphones and chose my daily meditation. My favorite skill was breath focus. Once I learned to really notice my lungs filling up with air, and the rise and fall of my belly with each breath, releasing tension on exhale was so relieving.
If you’ve been struggling to enjoy any time of mindful meditation, give Balance a try. You may discover a technique that feels right for you after all.
Original artwork by Steph Allen
The World in (Water)Color
How one 10-day challenge changed my view
“Are you still singing? Playing guitar?” my former college suite-mate asked over drinks one day. We hadn’t seen each other in nearly a decade, and the Steph she remembered spoke in lyrics and kept the entire dormitory up at night with her recording sessions.
The answer was no; I wasn’t that girl anymore. I hadn’t pursued music in any capacity beyond the four doors of my SUV, and even now my kids command the radio.
Art in all its forms used to make me feel alive. Singing, painting, even decorating with buttercream were just a few of my go-to hobbies. What happened?
Somewhere along the way, I let other commitments take priority over my own self-care.
It was time for me to fall in love with art again. But where to start?
I’d never tried painting with watercolors before, though I always loved the style. Lo and behold, I found an online watercolor tutor–whose website is ironically named This Writing Desk–who was hosting a free 10-day “Painting the Wilderness” challenge. After eagerly signing up, I participated in three consecutive painting challenges and learned landscapes, seascapes, and more. The results were unreal–I couldn’t believe that I was capable of creating such amazing art.
After a few sessions, I noticed that I was more relaxed and focused while painting. Through careful brush strokes, I wasn’t worried about any of my typical anxieties; I was just bringing my images to life on the page.
Most surprisingly, perhaps, is that learning to paint landscapes with watercolor developed my “artist’s eye.” Just as meditation brings participants to the present moment, watercolors also helped me see the world more vividly–I suddenly knew the exact shades of green I would paint the leaves on the trees, or the careful blend of indigo and Payne’s grey I’d use to depict the night sky. I noticed each edge and curve in the waves of the ocean as I drove over the bridge every morning, and the subtle gradients of yellow to blue in the morning sunrise.
As a writer, I’m well acquainted with using words as art, but there’s still a considerable amount of thinking involved in writing. With watercolors, it’s just me and a paintbrush. Practicing art became a kaleidoscope meditation of my very own.
At Home Between Pages
Reading romantasy to live impossible lives
When I was younger, my parents took me to the pediatrician after I complained about recurring headaches.
“Behind your eyes?” the doctor asked.
I nodded. “And on my forehead, too.”
“Do you read a lot at school?”
My dad laughed. “She stays up reading all night, one book after the other.”
It was true; Hermione Granger had nothing on me. Whether for learning or pleasure, I always had a book on hand. Of course, these days, solo parenting during military separations and working remotely leave little time for much else. After I became a mom, I was lucky to read one or two books in a year.
Recently my best friend asked me if I’d ever read A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. She said she’d just finished the series and that I absolutely had to give it a chance. I checked it out at the on-base library and binged the first three books plus a fourth novella within just a few weeks.
I was hooked. The spark was lit again. Romantasy books quickly became my escape from reality. From the unhinged nine-book series Zodiac Academy to wild and paranormal star-crossed Heavenly Bodies, I felt at home between the pages again. In 2025 alone, I’ve devoured 23 books.
Turns out, making time for self-care was never a luxury; it should have been a priority all along. When we lean into what brings us joy, we finally begin to lead our lives with purpose, not pressure.
Shop these books
Raising Good Sons: Christian Parenting Principles
A Court of Thorns and Roses complete series
With a little help from therapy and a lot of self-reflection, these three habits helped me practice gratitude and grounded me in the present moment.